(G)OVERWALKING
About pandemic & Europe of clones.
If there are still, somewhere out there, maybe in the third world…. national borders wrapped in barbed wire,
then luckily for me, a European, these are just vague images of distant pathologies. I feel calm and proud, because I live in a free Europe.
I have the Schengen zone, and I know that this idea — created to cement unity and highlight shared European values — will withstand any time,
even the greatest test of human solidarity.
Racing through the invisible borders of the Union, I’m reading a completely absurd novel about China or North Korea… hmm, or maybe the plot
took place somewhere in a galaxy light-years away, right up the black hole’s ass. I’m not even sure anymore. I read, or read there? …
so somewhere in China or in that faraway galaxy lived a multidimensional, idyllic 5D society.
Every member of this society had an ass-plicator where their head should’ve been; thanks to it, everything they did, felt and thought
could be duplicated and transmitted to the all-knowing Ass-ministration watching over their well-being and safety.
The Ass-ministration, having duplicates of every citizen, could protect each of them from danger and from the harmful effects
of mutual interactions, and thanks to its all-foresight, could correct thoughts, feelings and actions while they were still forming,
protecting citizens from the danger of… bringing danger upon themselves.
And then — bam! — I slip right in there! into the safest country I know — I enter Poland. Oh, that sweeet relief ;)
and yet it wasn’t always this rosy.
Once, the air here was thick with self-willed walkers. Mushroom-picking rituals, even entire families trying to relax, paralyzed everyone
before entering the forest. The very word “forest” used to be synonymous with decay and debauchery. Fear everywhere.
A plague spreading filth — those f…ing cyclists! Cities terrorized by the retiree mafia in trams, and in parks, like a radioactive cloud,
wafted the unpleasant smell of sour milk evaporating from the exposed breasts of mothers breastfeeding their babies.
Lovers on benches. With those cynical smiles of theirs….
Luckily, this pathology was ended by a pioneering, brilliantly simple reform of the penitentiary system.
The MM government — thank God! — found a Solomon-like solution, transforming the Vistula-side Gomorrah into a land of heavenly peace
with a single decision. It wasn’t just the tens-of-thousands-in-fines for cyclists, forest-trotters, women, and other lowlifes
who dared to wipe their filthy asses on park benches. Help came from where no one expected — paradoxically, peace and safety were ensured…
thanks to the criminals themselves.
The government, pondering the difficult problem of prisoners unable to adapt after release, instead of bothering with (God knows why)
rehabilitation, decided to adapt the entire country to the needs of the prisoners. What miraculous results this brought — one can only
bow in grateful applause. By incarcerating everyone, prisoners released from prison immediately entered… prison, where an entire society
was already waiting for them.
Brilliant! Full assimilation.
The change, both among prisoners and the rest of society, happens gently — some don’t even notice it.
Those sentenced, upon release, are settled; and those settled without sentencing develop natural antibodies that suppress resistance,
making it easy to adapt to the realities of the new world and much less likely to… walk down the criminal path.
Some of the settled, out of habit, take a walk… those end up in prison. Well, even here in heavenly Poland the world isn’t ideal…
I thought… and as I was thinking… I’m sorry, everyone, I know this should never have happened… hard to explain, distraction, relaxation…
I don’t know how it happened, but… I somehow absent-mindedly took a walk….
Of course I had my 5D phone with me. I didn’t sit on a bench! I’m not a monster! Immediately, detecting my movement,
a state official could appear and punish me with a twenty-five-thousand fine. I accepted this fine with gratitude.
A harsh punishment will teach me respect for the law.
Additionally, the Polish bank won’t have to print extra money for my fine, because thanks to the government’s rescue shield,
I managed to exchange the financial penalty for a life-long exile — from which I send warm greetings to you all.
life is beautiful. I feel so much gratitude when I think that I could one day wake up in a totalitarian reality,
stripped of agency like those poor people in Belarus…